I haven’t watched the Cardinals/Royals game yet tonight. I am going to watch it shortly.
It’s funny; on 95% of nights, I don’t watch the Royals game until at least 10:30-11:00, and I try to avoid places where I may accidentally see the final score. That means no ESPN, no other baseball games, I can only watch the first 20 minutes of the local news, and I even got busted catching about 3 minutes of game 7 of the NBA finals. I fucking hate when I accidentally find out the score. Let’s be honest here; 60% of the games I watch are going to be losses. But at least I can watch most of the game, and hope that the Royals will stage some magical comeback. But once I see the score, I will more than likely just delete it, and find something shitty on TV to watch instead.
Because the Cardinals are playing in KC tonight, there is another place that I have to avoid like the plague…
I can’t take a chance that one of my classically bandwagon St. Louis “friends” might leak something in their status update. You know it would be something like, “Felipe*__thinks the cards r gunna win the hole thing this year if they play like they did 2nite in KC. Go cards!”
*Name changed to protect the idiots.
So since I haven’t watched the game yet, I only have three things that I can blog about tonight. Those are: 1. The NHL draft 2. Financial Regulatory Reform or 3. The shit that I hate on Facebook (more specifically, status updates).
Let’s go with Facebook. The following is a list of my five biggest pet peeves that I see in people’s status updates:
5. Random Song Lyrics – I know almost every lyric to every popular song that has been written in the last 30 years. I am the fucking karaoke king.
Hugh Jerection__ ”Once beneath the stars/the universe was ours/love was all we knew/and all I knew was you.”
Even I cannot figure out what obscure line from a song you just posted. Two questions for you: 1. What fucking song is that from? 2. Why the fuck is it important that we all see it?
4. Play by play of you watching a game – I am watching the game. You are watching the game. Lots of people are watching the game. I like a little camaraderie during the game. I usually stick with texts to HP. What I don’t need to is open my Facebook and see nothing but posts from you…
Seymore Butts__ ”Whew!”
Seymore Butts__ ”That was a travel”
Seymore Butts__ “Come on guys, pull you heads out of you’re a$$e$!”
Seymore Butts__ ”Make a shot, Johnson.”
Seymore Butts__ ”Nice rebound”
You catch my drift. Those posts would have only covered the final 19 seconds of the game. Shut the fuck up. Besides, why are you on Facebook while you’re watching the game anyway? Just watch the damn game…
3. Work travel schedules – Come on, you have these people.
Oliver Closoff__ ”ORD -> LAX today. Then LAX -> MCI tomorrow through Thursday.”
I don’t care where the hell you are working this week. It’s not like I would need to track you down on your hotel land line or something. If you’re wondering about my schedule this coming week, it is STL -> STL every goddamn day.
2. How much love you have for your significant other – Yes, I know you love your wife. You married her, duh?
Mike Hunt__ ”I am so blessed to be married to the most wonderful woman in the world. She is my light and my rock. It’s been the best 11 weeks I have ever had. I love you, Donna!”
I tell my fiancée I love her every day…in the privacy of my own home. I don’t feel the need to broadcast it to 386 people that I haven’t actually spoken to in four years. Get a room.
1. Your Exercise – I am pretty sure that I don’t need to explain this to anyone.
Heywood Jablowme__ “Started out thinking I would only run 6 miles this morning, but felt so good at the 5 mile mark, just kept going. Ended up doing 37 miles before work. Plus tonight I am at the gym from 7:00-11:00. Tuesdays are arms and back. All in a day’s work…”
I hate you. Besides, for all we know you could be lying. What time did you finally roll into the office anyway? Really? 9:00? Did you start your run yesterday? It’s a computer program. If I didn’t have pictures on my page I could tell everyone I was 6’1” 200 lbs. too.
So here is the deal. If you happen to be one of my Facebook “friends”, and you use any of these five items in you update, I am removing you from my “friend” list. It’s that simple.
Oh, and don’t tell me the Royals score…
LWood Kellogg__ “Why do I bother/when you’re not the one for me/is enough enough? Come on Zack! Oh, of you need me I’ll be traveling to Barcelona in the morning, and Guadalhara in the afternoon. Before that though I need to take a 20 mile run and a poop. Oh, and I love you baby! See you when I get done watching the game…