Tag Archives: Jason Whitlock is fat

The Yost With The Most

0
Posted by Lachky on 05/17/2010 – 2:40pm
Filed under Kansas City Royals

Maybe it’s that Honeymoon glow.  Maybe it’s the fact that his name is not Trey Hillman.  Maybe it’s the incredible restraint it must take the man to not grow a moustache.  (He would totally look awesome with a moustache)  Whatever it is, spending the weekend with Ned Yost has led to me completely and totally trusting the man.  He’s the anti-Trey.

I was down in KC over the last weekend, and was therefore privy to 1.) actually watching the Royals, and 2.) getting first-hand accounts and analysis of Yost’s first series on the job from a number of respected talking-heads not named Jason Whitlock.

Trey Hillman is behind us, and I will be happy if I never utter his name again, so we don’t need to re-hash the idiocy of some of his moves.  With Yost, you get the feeling that he’s not a reactionary type.  He knows his players.  He knows how to get the best out of them.  He knows what to do in various baseball situations.  Of course, these are the very basic characteristics that you want in a major league manager.  And these are the characteristics that the previous Skip was lacking.  The fact that Yost is at least competent already puts him light years ahead of Trey.

Also, Dave Owen…grrrrr

Yost isn’t without flaws.  He got canned by the Brewers with 12 games left in the 2008 season while his team was in the middle of a pennant race.  Which is odd.  There were circumstances surrounding the firing that aren’t entirely known, but the fact is it happened.  The reasons why are a little less than black-and-white, but he was the leader of a team that won 65 games the season before he got there, and made the playoffs six years later.

Of course, you don’t want to heap the credit strictly on him.  You have Prince Fielder, JJ Hardy and Ryan Braun to thank for that.  But, you do have to give Yost credit for this: he didn’t mess it up.  Now, getting fired 12 games from the finish line might lead you to believe otherwise, but Dave Sevum (his replacement) only went 7-5 down the stretch.  A lot has been said about that team being in a 3-11 slump before his firing, but prior to that stretch, the Brewers went 8-1.  His firing seemed like a panic move, and all those who have analyzed it since tend to lean that way too.

But being Not Trey Hillman aside, there are three things that Yost did or said during the weekend that made me like and trust him.  Here they are:

1.) Some of the critique of Yost prior to his being shown the door in Milwaukee surrounded his almost absolute refusal to use the sacrifice bunt as an offensive weapon.  In the NL, with the pitcher batting 9th, it is generally assumed that the sac bunt in necessary and integral to success.  However, Sabermetric research has shown that is it an absolute rally-killing croc.  And Yost seems to agree.  Martin Manley does a nice job of pointing this out by using numbers that frighten and confuse me…but still generally point me in the direction that Hillman was a quack, and Yost knows what the heck he’s doing.

2.) Much has been written about Luke Hochevar and his maddening inconsistency.  He’s been good, and incomprehensibly bad, and a lot of it might have to do with his inability to keep his head on straight when things start to trend downward.  Case-in-point: Saturday Night.  Going into the 7th inning, with a three run lead, Hoch looked visibly shaken when the Alexi Ramirez got an infield single with one out on a ball that a shortstop with even average range (i.e. not named Yuniesky Betancourt) would have gotten to.  He ended up losing control and giving up four runs, the lead and the game.

So what did Yost have to say after the game?  Did he second-guess himself about not going to the bullpen earlier?  Did he throw Yuni under the bus for not getting to an easily field-able ball?  No.  He said that was part of the plan; that Hoch needs to learn how to pitch himself out of jams.  Wow.  What a breath of fresh air.  This is similar to Gil Meche coming back to the dugout after throwing 100+ in six the night before, and signaling to Yost for one more inning.  Yost said no.  He went to the pen, saved further wear on Meche’s shoulder, and got W.

If he doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing, at least he’s honest with how he does it, and that inspires confidence; something that is sorely lacking in this organization.

3.) The handling of Kila Monster getting sent back down again today.  Yost knows his team, and the limitations surrounding it.  And I’m speaking here of Ka’ahuie’s inability to make it on the field during his most recent stint on the big club.  Instead of talking in vague overtones about the competitiveness of his need for more seasoned instruction, Yost plainly stated that with Jose Guillen and Big Stroker entrenched at DH and 1B, there simply enough at-bats to go ‘round.  “It just kills me to see Kila sitting on the bench and not playing,” said Yost, “I think he’s a huge part of our future, and for me I’d much rather have him down there right now, getting his at-bats, playing first base and if something happened he could come back here.”

By acknowledging things which any educated Royals fan most certainly already knows, instead of dismissing it outright in some attempt to prove his legitimacy as a manager, Yost effectively justified his decision, however unpopular amongst the populous.

I for one am excited for having Yost in a Royals uniform.  I know that we’re not going to be competitive for a while with the talent we have on the team, but you know what?  So does Ned Yost.  And that’s more than I can say for…what’s his name?  Traysomething?  I’ve already forgotten.

Thank God.

Calm The F Down

0
Posted by L. Wood Kellogg on 03/15/2010 – 11:44am
Filed under Local College

Well, that didn’t take long.  The KU alarmists are out in force. 

“Just look at the Midwest!  KU got screwed!!!

“How are we the number one overall seed, and get stuck with that bracket”

Or, if you like Whitlock’s take…

“The NCAA is a giant conspiracy that loves Duke.”

Are you serious Jason??  Did you even let your editors read what you wrote this morning???  They can’t have.  There is no way that they would have allowed you to write a piece of shit like that, which essentially accuses the NCAA of intentionally moving Duke to an “easy” bracket because they are “ratings gold”.  You honestly believe that???  Please note: Whitlock also believes that the NCAA kidnapped the Lindbergh baby, faked 9-11, and killed JFK.

Here is an estimation of the S-Curve from the NCAA.

Add the rankings of the top 4 seeds in each bracket.  Here is what you get:

West – 44

South – 39

East – 35

Midwest – 35

So what would you do to balance it out?  Switch Maryland with Vanderbilt?  You’re splitting hairs there.

Look, I understand the initial knee-jerk reaction.  The Jayhawks will play in a Midwest region with the likes of Ohio State (2), Georgetown (3), Maryland (4), Michigan State (5), and Tennessee (6).    Throw in a little Okie Light and some Northern Iowa, and yeah, you have a tough road to the final four.

But it’s supposed to be tough.  It for a national championship!

At first glance I can see where people are getting their sense of trepidation from.  But are we really afraid of these teams?  I think not.  We are afraid of the names.

Let’s look at a few things…

Assuming a first round win*, the likely next opponent is Northern Iowa.  Northern Iowa won the MVC, which while I appreciate the feat, is not exactly a power conference.  They lost to DePaul on a neutral court.  My dog can beat DePaul on a neutral court.

*I honestly believe I know people that would take their own life if KU lost that game to Lehigh.  I may or may not be one of them.

Then we likely have Maryland (who was ousted in their first game of the ACC tournament) or Michigan State (who lost to Minnesota, and suspended a starter).  What is so scary about those actual teams? 

And then here is the part that I think people are overlooking.  Of Ohio State, Oklahoma State, Tennessee, Georgia Tech, and Georgetown; KU only has to play one of them!  That’s right; they’re in the same bracket, but they (and there’s no way of getting around it) have to play each other first! 

Yes, they’re good teams, but what did you want?  That game is for a trip to the Final Four.  You’ll be down to only eight teams in the whole thing.  They are all going to be good. 

Still think I am wrong?  Prove it.  Sign up, and take KU down in the sweet 16.  I dare you.

So while I agree that this isn’t going to be a cake-walk for KU, I also don’t think it’s an impossible climb.  That is, unless the president of Lehigh decides to change the name of the school to “Blehigh”.

Then I would be worried.

***Still panicked?  Think I missed something? Let me know at lwood@kcsportspodcast.com***

Frank Martin Makes Me Want To Pee My Pants

4
Posted by Lachky on 01/20/2010 – 12:45pm
Filed under Local College

“What does this win mean to me??  It means we won a game on January 18th.  Look, these guys should be proud of the effort they showed tonight, but on Wednesday, they’d better come ready to compete with the same intensity or I WILL DESTROY THEM in practice.”

-Frank Martin after K-State’s win over Texas

Christ, he’s terrifying.

We practice a lot of homerism here in this site.  But we can.  It’s not like we’re journalists or anything.  And other than Asian Schwab, we all pretty much follow the straight path of what I believe is the plurality of  KC Sports fans.  That is, we follow and root HARD for the Royals, Chiefs, and Jayhawks Basketball.  I don’t think we need to apologize for it, but that doesn’t mean that I have to look at KC sports thru any prism other than what a specific sporting event will mean to the teams listed above.

So, with that said, I can say without trepidation that I am completely and utterly horrified of this K-State team.  They are big, they are brash, and they don’t give a FUCK.  They’re like a hockey team out there, and if there were boards on the court, rest assured they’d pull a Sutton/Dupuis any chance they could.

Not to say they’re dirty.  No, they simply play with an attitude that they are going to be more physical than you in every single aspect of the game.  They committed 32 fouls against Missouri.  They committed the same against Colorado, and the Buffs retaliated with 36 of their own, making it the most heavily foul-called basketball game in Big XII history.

While that many fouls might not mean smart basketball, it certainly does mean that K-State is playing a brute style that might not be the most pleasant to play against; at least it wasn’t to Texas on Monday, and certainly won’t be for Kansas in the upcoming Big XII season.   And that’s a reflection on their coach.

Picture this: a young, under qualified coach comes into a head coaching position with almost no relevant experience.  He his thrust into this position mostly for who he knows more than what he can do, and is probably more a product of the players he coached than they of him.  On top of that, he’s a hothead.  He constantly yells at, berates and belittles his players, often times on the playing field.  He’s ornery with the media, and lackluster when he doesn’t have superior players at every position.  Oh, and Jason Whitlock hates him.

Sounds familiar, huh??   But it’s not Todd Haley I’m talking about.  Noooooo.  I happen to be talking about Frank Martin.  Remember this??

“The Wildcats are being swallowed by the enmity, paranoia and feeling of victimization that permeates the K-State fan base and fuels…Frank Martin’s coaching style.”

Or this gem??

“All the game-day, over-the-top negative energy/vulgarity directed at the refs, the opposition…is undermining the Wildcats’ growth.”

And now this:

“[Martin] has a chance to be the Latino/Brown/Cuban John Thompson, college basketball’s groundbreaking Hispanic coaching star.”

Excuse me?? 

Those first two quotes were from columns that Whitlock wrote in Martin’s first season in Manhattan (since deleted from kansascity.com…nice archive, guys).  The last was from today’s paper, imploring new K-State AD John Currie to sign Martin to an extension.

So what’s the difference??

Winning.  That’s it, plain and simple.  It doesn’t really matter what type of coach you are, as long as you win, nobody cares what you do.  Hell, you could shit in a towel as long as you’re tallying points in the “W” column. 

When looking at coaches, it’s important not to look at the reasons why a coach might not be successful, but rather to look at why he is successful.

In the case of both Martin and Haley, Whitlock as focused so intensely on the first that he has forgotten about the latter.  Martin yells and screams, but he relates to his players.  Haley yells and screams, but has a great eye for talent, and knows exactly what he needs out of his players.  There is a reason why these guys were hired.  They know how to coach.

Trust me, the tide will turn for Haley when he gets legitimate talent to work with.  In the mean time might I suggest the beard??

Hell, it seems to be working for RobertoClementeVinceLombarti Martin.  And like I said before…terrifying.

Now Let’s All Irrationally Raise our Hopes for the 2010 Kansas City Chiefs

1
Posted by Lachky on 01/04/2010 – 12:40pm
Filed under Kansas City Chiefs

Got this text from poscast contributor Daniel at 6:24 last night:

“So we lose a spot or 2 in the draft but spank the donkeys @ mile high & crush their hopes of making the playoffs.  I’ll take it.”

I concur, with several “fuck”s and “yeah”s sprinkled in, though I my mass “Horray Chiefs!” text would have gone something like:

“So we lose a spot or 2 in the draft but avoid Whitlock whining about Scott Pioli and Todd Haley for at least another week.  I’ll take it.”*

* In fact, if you were following @BWetherJohnson or @KCSportsPodcast on Twitter (plug!!), you would have gotten it

And so ends the 50th season of Kansas City Chiefs football, a season that will be known primarily for three things:

1.) The Chiefs sucking
2.) Todd Haley being an asshole
3.) The Chiefs sucking

The reason for pointing out the texts/tweets at the beginning of the column is that it does feel good to go out a winner.  Even if it was against a Denver team that was decidedly more putrid than what their record after six weeks looked like.

Looking at the analysis of the game from a Chiefs perspective at first put a damper on the good feelings that I had acquired while watching the game. 

Final nine weeks:

BRONCOS:
Record: 2-7
Off yards: 330
Def yards: 339

CHIEFS:
Record 3-6
Off yards: 392
Def Yards: 341

At first glance, I thought, “Oh…well, that’s not so impressive.  The Broncos were at least as bad, if not worse than us.  We should have won the game.”

Then…well, wait a minute…did I just say??

That’s right, we should have won the game.  In this historically awful season of retartedly putrid football, the Chiefs were actually (or at least should have been) favored to win a game…and they actually pulled together and did.   

Early in the season, we were (well, me in particular) resigned to downplaying any significance of the Chief’s play due to the fact that they were playing with Carl Peterson and Herm Edwards’ collection of shit boxes.  There wasn’t, I contended, any real way to determine the improvement of the players on this particular team due to the fact that most of them would be replaced by better players before the team turned the corner and actually started winning again.

Well, it looks like maybe the improvement was there after all, and there are some legitimate pieces to build on.  That, coupled with a full slate of draft picks and an entire year of scouting under their belt, I would say what looked impossible for Haley and Pioli a few scant weeks ago might actually transpire: the Chiefs might actually compete before 2015.

Of course, feel free to bookmark this and send it to me after Haley is fired after starting next season 0-5 and Jack Harry is reporting he knifed a hobo under the Paseo Bridge.

There are no magical ways for a bad football team to get better overnight.  The Chiefs still have a long, long road ahead of them, but if you would have asked me to pick any Chiefs team in the past nine years to go into Invesco Field (which opened in 2001) and beat a Broncos team that was playing for their playoff lives, this team would have been on the bottom of my list.  And this team is the only Chiefs team to do that.

That, as they say, is why they play the games.  And that, as they say, is why when you start using Chris Berman schtick, it’s time to end the column.

Jason Whitlock is fat!!  Byesers!!

Week In Review Grab Bag

1
Posted by Lachky on 12/19/2009 – 12:00pm
Filed under Local College

– Programming Note:

For those that follow our Twitter Feed @KCSportsPodcast we plan to be much more active, so, you know…tweet us (??)  Logg and myself have joined the fray as well. 

Follow us:

@BWetherJohnson
@LWoodKellogg

Time for a Week in Review Grab Bag!!  Let’s see what we find!!  (I hope it’s a Zhu Zhu Pet!!)

Nebraska + Iowa = Kansas

Looks like Lew Perkins was resigned to take his third choice thrilled to hire former Nebraska QB and Buffalo head coach Turner Gill.  Gill has been listed as one of the “Neat’o Awesome Up-And-Coming Coaches” (official title) for the past couple of years.  He’s had some moderate success at a place where nobody expects even moderate success, and took Buffalo to their first bowl game ever.

These are all (yawn) good things, but what most people are talking about is the crack staff of assistant coaches that Gill has assembled to serve on his staff.*  These names include such also-rans as Carl Torbush and former Iowa QB Chuck Long.  

* ”Serve on his staff”…This sounds a lot dirtier than it should…

Many are hoping that the recruiting trail will open up a little wider* with both on board, because, you know, nothing says Kansas Football like former Iowa and Nebraska Quarterbacks!!  Still, from experience, people in Iowa are fucking crazy.  Chuck Long’s name still holds a shit ton of water down here, and it’s a hell of a lot easier to convince a corn-fed half-ton youngster to take the trek to Lawrence, KS than it is to get him to go to either Buffalo or San Diego.

* “The recruiting trail will open up a little wider” …This also sounds a lot dirtier than it should…

Oh, and I’d be remised if I didn’t mention Whitlock’s take.

If you’re scoring at home:

Turner Gill: “I’ll give [him] two years before offering a strong opinion.”
Todd Haley: “Fuck that guy”
Trey Hillman: “Who??”

My advice, Turner??  Invite Ole’ Whitty over for a nice all-you-can-eat buffet before the season so that you can butter him up.  You don’t want to face the wrath of a Whitty scorned.  And if that fails??  I’m sure Charles Barkley will be more than willing to take you up on your offer.

High Powered Recruits + Overmatched Opponents = Kansas

It’s that time of year again!!  Snow on the ground??  Check.  Fifty point victories??  Check.  Sherron Collins trying to shed the last few pound of off-season McDonalds weight??  Check and mate. 

It’s College Basketball Season!!  Yeeay!!

It’s a little hard to tell about these Jayhawks.  They are absolutely rolling right now, and if not for a single renegade Texas vote, they’d be a unanimous #1.  Now, traditionally, there’s not much to be said for CBB before January, and KU’s pre-Big XII season in the past hasn’t been filled with heavy-hitters either, but this season is particularly void of nearly any competition.

Really, the only time KU has struggled this year was against Memphis, and boy was that scary.  As down as Memphis is talent-wise this year, they’re still the most formidable opponent they’ve faced this year, and they just barely squeaked it out.

Still, with as bad as their pre-conference schedule is this year, the Big XII itself is looking better and better.  Mizzou is always a tough out and only two years removed from an Elite Eight run.  K-State is no longer an afterthought, and back in the Top 25.  Texas Tech is finally buying into Knight Jr.-ball.  Even Iowa State is improved; returning their top scorer for the first time in five years.  Looks like the conference is bound to give the KU steamroller some speed bumps this winter…and that’s not necessarily a bad thing…

Also, is this a bad time to mention that I had a dream last night that KU was beaten by Wisconsin in the second round of the tourney in a game in which Cole Aldrich scored only five points??  Also (in real life) I already have tickets to go with HP to the Midwest Regional Final in St. Louis in March. 

OK…I’ll shut up now…

Mizzou + Big Ten = Cash Cow

The Big Ten, as they do every couple of years, has made some noise this week by stating that they will be looking at the possibility of adding a twelfth team to the conference, or as I like to call it, “Shit, we’re insignificant after Thanksgiving…let’s stir the pot.”

The usual names of Pitt and Notre Dame, of course came up, but one, Missouri, might sound surprising.  Missouri, after all, is not viewed as a traditional Big Ten school.  But take this into consideration.

Plus for Mizzou: The Big Ten Network has been a financial boon for the conference, with the proceeds split between all conference members.  The Big XII TV Contract with FSN is heavily geared toward the southern half of the conference.  Also, they already have a natural Big Ten rival in Illinois.  Not quite the Border War, but an established rivalry none-the-less.

Plus for the Big Eleven:  Despite gaining another team for the purposes of hosting a conference championship game, the Big Ten would figure to expand their reach to not one but two metropolitan areas; St Louis and Kansas City.  Oh, sorry…that’s $t. Loui$ and Kan$a$ City.

But, it being college athletics and all, it probably makes WAY too much sense for anybody to actually go for it.

Steel-ing a Victory (It’s a Pun, Get it!?!?)

0
Posted by Lachky on 11/23/2009 – 12:22pm
Filed under Kansas City Chiefs

I spent yesterday furniture shopping.  That’s right.  A Sunday in the middle of November walking the vast aisles of cherry wood and leather that is the new Homemakers Furniture Super Center in Urbandale Iowa.  I forwent NFL week 11 to look for dining room tables and area rugs for my new place, and help my roommate find a new mattress*

* Which led to the inevitable “two straight guys lying in the same bed on a showroom making sexual position jokes” which led to the inevitable, “two straight guys nearly getting kicked out of the new Homemakers Furniture Super Center for lying in the same bed on a showroom making sexual position jokes.”

I was not watching football, no sir.  I was lost in the intoxicating madness of zero-percent interest for 24 months and pre-holiday shopping madness.  I didn’t even realize that football was going on until I walked past the HDTV department and saw Brett Favre laughing on the sidelines at the end of the Vikings game (he’s like a kid out there!!), at which point, I decided to open up my cell phone, and see how hard the Chiefs got spanked.

The next two minutes went like this: “Wait…what??  That’s gotta be a misprint.  Overtime?!?!”  I called my dad and he regaled me with like play-by-play beginning with Jovan Belcher’s tackle of Mendenhall on third down.  I shrieked so excitedly when Succop kicked the game-winner, that I got more stares than when I was demonstrating the superiority of the Sealy Posturepedic to the Simmons Beautyrest re: the doggystyle position.

So what’s there to say??  How can I possibly analyze a game that I didn’t even have a vested enough interest in to watch??  Well I can’t…really.  Alls I know is from looking at highlights and statistics, which tell the story of a team that got lucky to the tune of a 97-yard kickoff return and a 94-yard interception return.  But, they still won the game.

I like to view sports thru a statistical lens.  Don’t tell me how much “poise” a QB has, or how much “heart” a defense plays with.  Those are made-up things that manifest themselves by way of sportswriters who can’t think of anything better to write.  Give me something concrete that I can sink my teeth into. 

By that rationale, it doesn’t seem like the Chiefs are getting any better.  Sure they won, but statistically they got their asses handed to them.  They can’t win week-in, week-out with the group of flunkies they keep trotting out.  We already know this.  The stats say so.

But, there was one thing that I saw in the highlights this week that made me go, “Hmmm.”  It was something that was beyond the boxscore, beyond the statistics, and something that I think the Chiefs can truly build on.    At the end of the game, Succop’s field goal sailed thru the uprights, about a dozen Chief’s players immediately went to Todd Haley to give him a bearhug.

So much as been said about Haley being an asshole*, and most of it is probably true.  Thing is, when the Chiefs do succeed, it seems as if they gravitate toward him.  And it doesn’t seem as if it is being done in a sarcastic, “we won despite you being a jackass,” sort of a way.  It seems as if it’s being done in a, “I know you drive us hard, but man, that makes the payoff that much more sweet,” sort of way.  And on top of that, it looked like he actually enjoyed it!!  When Dwayne Bowe dropped a bucket of Gatorade on his dome after his first win in DC, he looked like Haley was about to rip his head off.. .

* Seriously.  Googlefish ‘Todd Haley is.’  The only thing that pre-populates is ‘a jerk.’

And I hate writing stuff like that, because it is not statistical.  It’s not concrete.  There is no smile/frown ratio to reference when making that point.

Still, if a miracle win against a team that thoroughly destroyed you in every was is what is needed for a team to trust their hard-driving head coach, than so be it. 

Hell, he’s even got Jason Whitlock convinced…though I don’t know if that’s just because Whitty’s too exhausted from writing three whole columns in the past week to write anything else…too bad there’s not a stat for that.

A*Holes Collide: Haley v. Whitlock

0
Posted by Lachky on 09/21/2009 – 10:36pm
Filed under Kansas City Chiefs

One of the cruel twists associated with writing a sports blog, is that when things of a sporting nature happen, you have to give a take, even when you don’t want to.  This is especially true if you write for a very specific section of sport, whether that be idiocy, fishing in Texas, or Herm Edward’s (fake??) perm.  Therefore, for every significant happening in the world that is Kansas City sports, people expect an opinion.  So that’s what we try to bring you.

Sure, we try to enhance it with the tinsel that is unique perspective, sarcasm, and fart jokes, but in actuality, there are not a whole lot of difference in factual content between what you can read here, and what you can get at, say the Kansas City Star.

Unless you’re talking about Jason Whitlock.

If you are talking about Big Sexy, then you’re talking about an agenda driven writer who has no regard for how things work out on the field, and will twist the realities of any given event around his own pre-drawn conclusions.  Par exemplar could very well be today’s article: Haley’s Coaching Performance Was Embarrassing.

Now, I agree that it was not good.  There were mental mistakes, coaching and personnel errors and suspect play calling.  Todd Haley was part & parcel to a discomforting result from Arrowhead Stadium, but it was far, far, FAR from the worst coaching performance anyone has ever seen.

Whitty points out three factors – arrogance, flawed logic and lack of self-control – as being reflective on Haley in the Chief’s bungle, and goes out to provide exactly zero pieces of evidence to back up any of the three planks of his thesis of idiocy.

So, Jason…how did Haley’s arrogance get the best of the Chiefs Sunday??  What’s that??  Nope, a careful pun on Pioli’s last name (Ego-li…get it!!) won’t suffice here!!  But he is arrogant.  Just ask Jason. 

“The arrogance is toxic and counterproductive to winning.”

You see?? 

“Let’s hope Todd Haley spent Sunday night standing in front of a mirror, screaming at himself.” 

Just like he does with his players!!*

* I’ve been looking for a transcript for what Haley was yelling at Brodie Croyle after he was unable to snap the ball after a timeout in week 1, and was flagged for Delay of Game.  I don’t know exactly what it was, but from what I can remember from the CBS cameras, and from what little lip-reading experience I have, I think it went something like this: “Jesus Christ Brodie!!  Snap the fucking ball!!  WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU!!  Has anybody ever told you that you look like Demitri Martin??”

So, yelling at your players = arrogance.  And, if they fuck up royally, they had better hold themselves accountable by, I don’t know, admitting and taking the full weight of the performance of the football team.  Too bad Haley is too arrogant to do that.

“We’re going to have a smart team here…how the half ended, I’d say [I didn’t coach smart].  I’m the leader of this football team, and when you have the ball in an area where you can score points and you don’t get points, it’s all going to fall on me.”

BAH-Huhhhhh???  He took responsibility for the loss??  But I thought he was arrogant and dickish?!?!  I mean, Jason Whitlock said so!!  I don’t get it.  I thought Vic Vinegar was coaching the team, Whit, but you’re right…only an A-Hole would say that he’s the leader of a football team.  What an un-self-controlable prick!!

And let’s not forget that the chiefs have cut or traded 31 players from last year’s roster and only THREE of them currently reside on NFL rosters, and one of them is Tony Freaking Gonzalez.  Nope…not important.  Right, Jason??

“[Pioli and Haley are] so caught up in establishing all the little ‘intangibles’ they think create a winning environment that they’ve lost sight of the fact that players win football games — not head coaches or general managers.”

Wait, but…no, I …room spinnin…[bzzzzzbzzzzz] *smack*

[wakes up three hours later]

Sorry, I was having a dream where I was reading a Jason Whitlock column in which he was laying down scant evidence to his claim that Todd Haley (and Scott Pioli) being an asshole (to him) was the reason the Chiefs lost to the Raiders.  Then, while placing the modicum of blame on his ass-holic shoulders, he said something to undercut his entire argument by stating that it’s the players, and not the jackass coach that actually play the games, but the players are reflective of the coach, and if he’s an A-hole then it reflec…uh oh…[bzzzzzbzzzzz] *smack*

[wakes up three hours later]

Sorry, I was having a dream where I was on a fishing trip with Chris Daughtry and he was eaten by a manatee (maybe I should do this more often). 

You see what happened, Jason??  You see what happens when you try to trap me in your maze of pretzel logic??  I can only imagine the vitrol had Whitty been a columnist in Dallas 20 years ago when they went 1-15 and Jimmy Johnson, the architect to the biggest collective group of Assholes ever assembled (the Miami teams of the late 80’s) replaced a LEGEND in Tom Landry.

Now, I’m not saying that we’re going to go out and draft three first-ballot Hall of Famers or anything (unless the Vikings want to give us six draft picks for Larry Johnson…please??), but Jeezis man, these things take time.  What I saw on Sunday was a bad football team, and bad football teams find ways to lose.

But what I also saw was a young QB in Cassel really taking the reins of the offense, and when granted the request of having the game placed on his shoulders, succeeded.  I saw a head coach frustrated by the shortcomings of his players, but also showing genuine excitement for the same ones when they succeeded.  Much in the same way that many missed the boat in thinking that the Baltimore game was a success, many have missed the boat in thinking this one was an abject failure.

If you think that the current regime is not the right one, fine, but you had better have more than circumstantial evidence, and you’d better give it more than two freaking games.  Or how about the Chiefs invite Jason Whitlock to his own personal all-you-can-eat buffet in Pioli’s suite next game??  At least maybe that’ll save the rest of us by discouraging him to write shit like the shit that I read at kansascity.com/sports this morning.

Your Obligatory Report from River Falls

0
Posted by Lachky on 08/04/2009 – 3:55pm
Filed under Kansas City Chiefs

In this time of great anguish, pining away at the throes of another disheartening eddy of suckitude in the river of baseball glory, we wait, us faithful Kansas City sports fans, for late July, and the opening of a week of great expectation, endless possibility, and men the size of houses wheezing thru two-a-days. Ahh, yes, it is time once again for the opening of NFL training camps; players toiling away under the hot sun, veterans linking mentally with newly brought-on “chums”, and coaches littering the eardrums of the surrounding enthusiasts with a never-ending barrage of four-letter words. Dreams; yet to be dashed. Promise; as yet unrealized. Effort; thick in its unbridled enthusiasm.

Alright. Enough of this Ernest Hemingway shit. I need to cleanse my palate.

There…that’s better*

* That link was originally the now infamous Tiger Woods fart video which the PGA has apparently erased LeBron-itized from the internernet’s collective unconscious.  So unfair.

For once in the past 20 years, the Chiefs and Royals, neighbors sharing a common parking lot, started their seasons on opposite ends of the spectrum. The Royals, coming off of a promising second half of 2008 looked like they were poised to make a run. The Chiefs, coming off of a shit-tastic 2008, need to start from scratch.

And not that that’s a bad thing. Enthusiasm in River Falls is tempered for a second straight year; most knowing full well that Arrowhead will not be playing host to the AFC Championship game come January. We all know that a new regime breeds analysis as soon as the players hit the field: How will Haley coach? When will Tyson Jackson sign? Will Jason Whitlock find enough to eat? (YES).

NFL Camps breed positive stories, and really, from afar, this camp seems to be going just about the way I expected. Haley will be more hard-core than Herm (ie: more F-Bombs). LJ and Brian Waters will show up and work hard. Cassell will take the reigns and look sharp. A free agent signing here. An injury there.

And, there’s always one player who gets sent to the proverbial doghouse.

A year ago, the chiefs saw Glenn Dorsey as the cog in an A+ draft. Some gurus had him as their top rated player. Nobody could believe he’d slip down to #5. On him and Branden Albert, the Chiefs had pinned their rebuilding hopes. Alas, a year later, Dorsey appears undersized, out of position, and out of shape.

After failing his initial conditioning test, Haley has had Dorsey pushing tackling dummies, hauling equipment and furniture, and riding a stationary bike while the rest of the team practices. There were six players in total who failed the test, and while the others have been able to make it back with their teammates, Dorsey has remained in purgatory.

It’s understandable that a new head coach would want to make an example of somebody, but it being the #1 pick from a year ago sends a serious message that nobody is immune from being held accountable, lest they risk public humiliation. On top of that, Haley is making it clear that this is not just a ceremonial benching:

“If you’re not on the field practicing, you can’t help me do my job.”

Ouch. Considering Haley is the man holding him off the practice field, it seems as if Dorsey has a long climb ahead of him. Not only does he have to make a strong impression on the new coaching staff and teammates, but he also has to convert from a DT in a 4-3 to a DE in a 3-4.

I don’t think anybody was asking Dorsey to step up and be the leader of the defense (at least not yet), but not being able to take advantage of PT to mesh with the now de-facto leaders, Zach Thomas and Mike Vrabel, has got to hurt.

Still, the lack of practice time might be more lip service than anything else. Tyson Jackson is not yet signed and with the team, and the responsibility for this falls right into the lap of Scott Pioli. Jackson is eager to sign and get into camp.

The reason for his not being there is not greediness on Jackson’s part, or a lack of willingness to sign, but rather Pioli waiting for Aaron Curry to sign with Seattle so that he can make sure the Chiefs don’t over-pay. So, according to the men in charge, saving a few bucks when you have plenty to spend is more significant than getting your first-rounder into camp. But I’m okay with that.

You figure there has to be some line drawn in the sand when the money issue becomes secondary to Jackson getting on the field, and once that line is crossed, Jackson will be signed.  This makes me think even more that Haley’s words are aimed directly at Dorsey. He’d just better hope he’s not still peddling when his old LSU teammate hits town.

Jason Whitlock Whines: “I’m Not Whining.”

0
Posted by Lachky on 06/08/2009 – 12:47pm
Filed under Kansas City Chiefs

Our friend Jason has a little poopie in his pants this morning due to the fact that, over the weekend, Scott Pioli didn’t ease his un-ease over the new direction of the Kansas City Chiefs.  And how did Pioli and his minions shamefully rebuke his thought-out player/personnel suggestions this time?  Apparently, they wouldn’t let him within 100 yards of the buffet table practice field.

Ole’ Whitty proceeds to write a column slathered in sarcasm (and barbeque sauce, probably [ZING!]), that shakes his finger sternly at the new administration: Keep this up, and I’ll stop coming around.  Be careful what you ask for Jason…the Chiefs might actually take you up on your offer.

Rumor is that Todd Haley was more apt to let Gonzo skate after a sit-down meeting with the new head coach turned into a suggestion session with Tony’s takes on everybody from the punter to the pizza boy.  The message out of Arrowhead is clear and consistent: this is our show, and nobody is gonna tell us how to do things around here.

Well, the new sheriff has agitated the #1 Chiefs Agitator in Whitty, but that was inevitable.  I don’t think any of us believed we would make it even this long without being conflict-free (though the warning signs have been there).

Still we must ask; while the argument was made in typical Whitlock fashion, is it not salient?  And here’s the answer: Who knows.  And here’s another one: Who cares.

Are organizations that cut out the media ones that are more successful than those who keep the doors open?  The problem with a question like this is that there is no accurate, objective way to too vote ‘aye’ or ‘nay.’  To the average fan, sports journalism is way more squak than talk, and whether or not the media is getting treated fairly is secondary (and waaaaaaay down on the list) to the number in the left-hand column.

Plus, the only way that we know whether or not the media is being dealt with unjustly is through the accounts of the media members themselves, in which case they will, in all probability, be substantially biased, evidenced by how Whitlock’s ham-handed attempt at a pot-shot will be quickly shrugged off of Pioli’s shoulders.

Chiefs fans don’t care how far away media members have to stand from the practice field.  We don’t care how short Whitlock’s stay will be in River Falls this year.  The only people who do are Jason Whitlock and the resturaunteurs lamenting the absence of his waistline.

Also…Jason Whitlock is fat (ZING!).