Tag Archives: Barack Obama

KU’s loss: Blame Palin

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Posted by L. Wood Kellogg on 03/01/2010 – 12:48pm
Filed under Local College

As most of you know, KU fell to the Cowboys on Saturday in a game that was not nearly as close as the score would make it seem.  But I don’t blame the players.  It was out of their hands.

I am not going to talk about KU’s atrocious defense in Stillwater. Nor am I going to talk about KU’s turnovers.   And I am not going to talk about OSU shooting 97% (or whatever it was) from the field. No, the blame for this latest KU loss* falls squarely on one person.

*I say that like there have been so many.

Sarah Palin.

You’re going to have to hang with me on this one. Okay, so everyone knows that many of our government programs stink. I actually watched about 6 hours of the “Health Care Summit” last week. Unfortunately, there was no curling on that day. What I figured out from that informative collection of ideas complete waste of time and money, is that the two parties in Washington cannot even agree what time lunch should be, should they eat in or go out, and what they would like on their pizzas, much less what they can do to fix health care.

I don’t necessarily blame that on them. They are just sticking up for their parties’ platforms. No, the real blame for that is on Barack Obama. He is the president for crying out loud. He has to be the voice of reason that pulls everyone together and says, “Hey McConnell, come on man. And Pelosi, calm down.” He has to bring the sides to the table and get something done. He has failed to do that.

Now, on top of health care, another thing that is completely broken is the education system. How is it that the high school I attended in Minnesota has enough money to build a heated dome for the football team to practice in, yet some schools hardly have enough money to turn the heat on in the classroom? The level of disparity between the haves and have-nots is wider than the space Jon Shuster had to shoot at on four or five potential game winning shots combined.

Something must be done about this. I blame Barry on this one too. For all of his blabbering on about health care reform that, basically, no one wants, he has failed to address the education system at all. Except of course to say that it is all George Bush’s fault.

That brings me to the Kingston High School Lady Cougars. Kingston is a very poor school district located in Cadet, MO. Look, here’s where it is. It’s like Deliverance out there. When there are more burnt out 1968 Chevy trucks than people, you know it’s not exactly palm springs. Shit, I think I got a meth contact high just driving through there.

Anyway, this school district is so poor that they don’t even have money to outfit their sports teams. Do you hear me? They can’t allocate money to the very things that statistically have shown to keep kids in school and off of drugs. My future sister in law coaches the softball team. They needed to raise money in order to get bats for the team. Bats for a softball team? What a novel idea! So she asked me if I would put on a charity trivia night for them on Saturday. Of course I will do that. How do you say no to that?

Now, because I was having to help out the Lady Cougars in Cadet, MO, I was not watching the KU-OSU game on Saturday afternoon. More importantly, I was not able to sit in my lucky spot on the couch, and position my remote in the exact position that it needs to be in. Nor was I able to go with HP to our lucky bar where we have only seen one KU loss EVER (Michigan State last year in the sweet 16).   When these factors were negated, of course KU lost. KU is undefeated when I am able to affect the outcome of their games in these ways. The only other time I was not able to do this…at Tennessee.

So you can see how important my position for watching games is for KU basketball success. In summation, I absolutely do not fault myself in this case. I do not fault my future sister in law or her team. I don’t fault the Kingston K-14 school district, and I do not fault the congress. I fault Barack Obama for KU now needing to beat both KSU and Mizzou to win the outright Big XII title.

“B-b-b-b-but, Logg. I thought you said it was Sarah Palin’s fault.”

Oh right. Well, if Sarah Palin had never existed, Barack would have never won the election.

Thanks a lot Sarah.

*Like it?  Don’t?  Indifferent?  Let us know.  E-mail us at lwood@kcsportspodcast.com

The Royals Rebate

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Posted by L. Wood Kellogg on 07/21/2009 – 11:55pm
Filed under Kansas City Royals

It’s 11:00pm in the Midwest, I have finally started watching the second half of the Royals-Angels double header (sorry, but at this point, when I have to make a “prime time” television decision, I choose Big Brother and the premier of Hell’s Kitchen), and I am paying bills.   I like paying bills because, well, I am a banker by trade.    I like numbers.  It’s what I am good at.  I am not good at tracking baseballs hit directly at me with a broken bat, and neither is Alberto Callaspo based on what I saw in the 1st inning.    So, as I am paying my punch in the gut cable bill, I was wondering just one thing…

Based on the purchase price of the MLB Extra Innings package, what am I really getting for my* hard earned money.  I mean, we all know the product stinks in Seattle, uh, KC.  I haven’t watched a single other team’s game because, well, who cares?  I don’t do fantasy baseball because I would get fired for devoting as much time as it takes to win, and no one would pay my cable bill (or maybe Barack’s got this round).  Or I would lose, and I don’t want to do that.

*It may be your money.  My employer received about $7 billion in TARP funds from you to stay afloat, and I have no idea what we are doing with it because we are not lending it.  I should form my own bank holding company.  Then I could get TARP funds.  I would merely explain to the treasury that I squandered all of my money on watching Royals baseball and drinking Three Buck Chuck from Trader Joe’s.

No, I am truly struggling with this cost benefit analysis.  So let’s do the math, shall we?

So the MLB package cost me $170.00 back in April.  The cable company was nice enough to bill me over 4 months for this.  They were also nice enough to charge me $1.99 to “add a service”.  Awesome on both counts.  Since the Royals have won a whopping 37 games this season; I have paid $4.90 per win.  Yes, I am forfeiting a pack of cigarettes to see each of the Royals’ wins.*

*No I am not.  I am still smoking.  I just stopped paying for my dog’s heartworm medication.  Let’s hope watching John Buck stroke a double to left center will prevent deadly parasites.  It can’t hurt.

Now, obviously, the Royals will win another game.  In fact, they are on pace to win 65 of them.  That means that, come the end of the season, I will have paid $2.62 per win.  That’s better.  It’s only a draught beer at happy hour per game.  But based on what I have seen, I am not really willing to pay more than $1 per win.  What to do?

But I just noticed something interesting.  It seems that the MLB is offering the second half of the MLB package for $130.  Well, that means (and frankly I agree) that the first half of the season should have only cost me $40.  Where is the Royals rebate??  I don’t want to watch 70 more games of Yuniesky Betancourt, Bruce Chen, or Ryan Freel.  I don’t want any more Sydney Ponson, Kyle Farnsworth, or Jamon Cruzahay (that’s my hybrid term for Wright, Cruz, and Mahay).  I have to get this cost down.  So, if MLB granted me my wish, and mailed me a check for the extra $130 that I don’t really want to spend, can I get this down to under a buck per win???  Nope, at $40 for up to this point, I still paid $1.08 per win.  Crap.

I got it.  I can achieve my fiscal goals by merely getting three favors from three different entities.

  1. Major League Baseball mails me a check for $130, and
  2. Barack Obama agrees to federally subsidize my overpayment per Royals win of $2.96 ($.08 per game), and
  3. The Royals win three more games this season

Is it sad that #2 is the most realistic?  Now, where did I put my smokes?