I have a history with the University of Northern Iowa.  First off, I live in Iowa, but running into Panther fans is not a regular occurrence.  This state is plastered with Tigerhawks, and occasionally, you’ll get a Cyclone here and there, but the only time you ever come a cross a Panther is when someone is either mentioning Kurt Warner, or…well, that’s it.  Today I went to the bar where I witnessed Kansas’ triumph over North Carolina in the Final Four two years ago…needless to say, the “UNI” fans came out of the woodwork…

I know a few UNI grads.  A couple of my buddies played on the UNI baseball team.  I have a friend who went there for a year before transferring to the school that I went to, a charming private school nestled in the ghetto of Des Moines, IA called Drake University.  The arena there is called the Knapp Center.  This is where I have had most of my contact with the Panthers.  In 2007, I was there when, after beating Iowa and Iowa State earlier in the year, Drake won bragging rights for the state by beating UNI, and the students rushed the court.

In 2009, Drake was coming off an improbable Missouri Valley Conference regular season and tournament Championship.  My UNI buddies and I decided to take in the matchup between our alma maters in Des Moines.  Drake had lost several cogs from their 2008 run: their best sharpshooter in Klayton Korver, their head coach Keno Davis, and the MVC Player of the Year Adam Emmenecker.  UNI smoked them by 35.

I didn’t really mind that much.  I have been rooting for KU since I was a kid.  Drake, I didn’t really know until I went there, and they had always sucked.  Always.  So, losing to UNI was no big surprise.  But there is one thing that pissed me off.  There was this middle-aged Panther fan sitting about five rows behind us who knew everybody — EVERYBODY — on the UNI team, and would SHOUT about EVERYTHING going on in the game…even after they were up by freaking forty.  But the one player I remember him busting a nut over the most was freaking Ali Farokmanseh.  He was a sophomore at the time, and everytime that fucker hit a three (he hit about a dozen that game), #1 UNI fan would shout, “THREEEEE ALIIIIIII!!!!!!!”  What a fucking toolbox.  My buddy Scottie leaned to me during the game and said, “(I bet that guy beats his wife).”  I can only hope she returned the favor by shooting him in the fucking face with a sawed-off shotgun.

Not that I’m bitter or anything.

Any KU fan could see this coming from a mile away.  We did it to ourselves as a #1 seed in 1992 and 1998.  We lost in the first round two years-in-a-row.  I knew exactly how a loss to UNI would play out.  We would miss a few early easy buckets.  UNI would hit over 50% in the first half.  Sherron Collins would be shaky.  UNI’s D would force turnovers.  The worst-case scenario played itself out exactly like we have seen before.

I still to this day question how a team like Kansas can come out as flat as they do in games like these.  Sure, they can get themselves up to beat K-State decisively three times this season, but can always underestimate an opponent like UNI.  Why??  How can you underestimate them??  They are the MVC regular season and tournament champions.  If we had played with the same intensity that we did in the last ten minutes the entire game, we would have strolled by 20…easily.

And to Bill Self, why has full court pressure been so underutilized this season??  We certainly had the bodies to do it.  *sigh*  I’m nitpicking here.  When KU pulled within three in the waning seconds of the game, a UNI fan sitting behind be said, “Kansas doesn’t deserve to win this game.”  I turned to him, he knowing that I was rooting for KU, and said, “You know what??  You’re right.”  You might live by the William Munny parlance that “Deserve’s got nuthin’ to do with it.”  Well it does and it doesn’t.  You can’t play like an asshole for 35 minutes and expect to pull it out.

So, this is the reason why I don’t’ go gambling: Me, Logg and HP now have $600 worth of tickets to the Midwest Regional Final in St. Louis that we bought last May…and no team to root for.

My buddy Gio texted me after the game:

“This upset is like Heidi Montag stealing a part from Meryl Streep to portray an english aristocrat…Literally.”

I don’t know about that.  UNI is a good team…and they deserved to win.

Congratulations.

And Fuck Your Mother.