I was done. Done thinking about it, done worrying about it, done obsessing…done. And the “it” of which I am referring is College Basketball. I was finally content and happy to put it in my back pocket for the next nine months, and let the rest of the shitty world of sports in Kansas City run its course until the Jayhawks suited up again.
This is the reason there hasn’t been a lot of chatter around here with regard to Cole and X going pro. No commentary on Brandon Knight signing with the Kentucky. No remarks on Ben Jacobson getting a 10 year extension simply for beating Kansas.**
** Though, what does that say about the stature of Basketball at Kansas, where you can get millions upon millions of dollars by beating one team one time.
The trip to STL for the Midwest Regional was still fun sans KU. HP, Logg and I got to get drunk, sell our Sunday tix for beer money, get drunk, watch me puss out on getting an attractive girls phone number at the pre-game bar, get drunk, listen to DREAM, get drunk, catch a free bus rider from a skeevy looking dude who then fed us beer out of a lukewark cooler and drove us to the stadium along streets whose names you only hear on the news, get drunk, watch Michigan state do to UNI in the second half what KU should have done, get drunk, and…oh, yeah…get drunk. Not what I had envisioned as the end of this year’s season, but fitting none-the-less.
What comes next. We’ve got a whole summer of bullpen implosions to look forward to. We have a new coaching staff full of assholes to draft disappointing defensive linemen. We have hockey playoffs (just kidding…nobody cares about hockey playoffs).
So, sure. Not the most exciting stuff to look forward to, but I’ll pay attention because I’m a dude. But…just when I thought it was over…out of the deep blue sea comes this:
This fucking asshole again?? Goddammnit, how old is this guy anyways?? He’s been on the team, what, like eight years??
Here are, completely of the top of my head – with no discernable research – my three least-favorite LaceDarius Dunn memories*:
02/14/2004
An 18 year old LaceDarius torches an unsuspecting Senior-laden KU team to the tune of 27 and 16, performing three windmill dunks, and then, to top it off, sees your girlfriend out a bar in Waco afterwords, and bangs the shit out of her.
01/26/2005
LaceDarius Dunn, in the midst of his second Sophomore season hits 16 three-pointers, and lifts Baylor to their first ever victory in Allen Field House. On top of that, to punctuate his twelfth three, he spies Jeff Boschee, himself in his fourth senior season, and punches him square in the face. In Dunn’s defense, Boschee did kind of deserve it, being Jeff Boschee and all…
02/20/2010
After dropping a school record 42 on Kansas, Dunn, not content with continually hitting contested shots against the Jayhawks, performs lazer tattoo removal on this chick at halftime.
* The validity of these stories has not been confirmed.
Point is, LaceDarius Dunn is an asshole.
It’s that earlier this season, when he was dropping ridiculous 30-footers with a hand in his face, I said to myself, “Fuck, I thought that asshole graduated…he’s been around for-fucking-ever.”
Well, looks like he’s sticking around to stick it in our craw a few more times before flying the coop.
I will now make like the Royals bullpen, and set myself on fire.
