Wow. That was bad. No, I mean it. It was really bad. I mean, good sweet lord jumpin’ baby-bumpin’ Jeebus that was bad. Not only did we get crushed in every statistical category, not only did we move the ball laughably and fail to get off the field on Third Down, not only did we…well play poorly in every aspect of the game, but we kept the score close enough for people to believe that we are actually decent; that we can [channeling my inner-Jaworski here…wait for it] compete in the National Football League.

The fact that we were tied with just over two minutes left was a testament to how fluky the game of football is, not how good the Chiefs are…because they are not. Good, that is. They are bad. Really bad. The Ravens played half-hearted football for most of the game. There is a saying that in professional sports, you should try not to play to just “flip the switch” and ratchet up the intensity when you need to. Well, that only goes for when you’re playing a good team.  As stated before, the Chiefs are not a good team.

This game reminded me of a Big XII basketball game at Allen Fieldhouse with Baltimore playing the role of Kansas, and the Chiefs playing the role of the under-manned conference foe (Colorado, K-State, Nebraska…any Big XIII opponent, really). What happens every time?? KU gets out to a scorching start; the opponent somehow hangs around and claws back, and in the last five minutes?? Collins for three, Aldrich with a block and an And1 on the other end, and KU wins by a dozen, four starters were in double figures, and they held the opponent to 32% from the field.

The Ravens got off to a great start, played half-assed for three quarters, and turned it up when they needed to. Just as I would advise the Royals front office to look at the stats to make a determination on the ability of the team, I ask you to do the same for the Chiefs:

Yard differential: 313 yards
Play differential: 44 plays
Rushing differential: 169 yards
TOP differential: 19:38

I could go on. Listen, credit the Chiefs for catching a few breaks, but did anybody expect them to cash them in?? Blocked punts and 70-yard interception returns are strokes of luck, not something to count on. Without them, the score would have been more akin to what we all expected, but because we got them, people were all too quick to look past the overwhelming statistical evidence pointing to the fact that we got throttled.*

* I hooked up to 101 The Fox online to listen to the post-game analysis, and seriously, I shit you not, it took 45 minutes before there were any substantive thoughts on the game. Sure, there were updates on games in progress, and reminders that the Post Game Show was right around the corner, but NOTHING until almost an hour after the game, and at that point it was Mitch Holtus at the Baltimore airport sounding like he had more important things to do than talk about the Chiefs, which I never thought I’d say about Mitch Holtus. Of course, I think he had just got done getting probed by airport security due to the fact that Led Dawson gave him a handful of Xanax after the game, and he forgot that he had it in his pocket.

One more thing about the Fox broadcast:

Dear Tompkins Industries,

Just how many Original Equipment Manufacturers are listening to your average Chiefs game?? 10?? 15?? Is it really necessary to let us know twice every fucking commercial break that you have the Midwest’s largest supply of hydraulic hoses and gaskets?? REALLY?? HOLY SANTA CLAUS SHIT!! FUCK ME!! Tompkins, you’ve done it again!! Fuck you, and fuck your showroom on Olathe.

Let’s not kid ourselves. This is a bad football team, and they are going to continue to be bad. Carl Peterson left the cupboard so incredibly devoid of talent that it is going to take years to build any kind of a football team to play at Arrowhead Stadium. But we knew that coming in. Sure we were missing the main cogs of our offense and defense, but am I to expect that that would have helped anything??

The thing that pisses me off it the chatter that this was a good first step for the Chiefs; that this was a moral victory, something to build on. I thought we were past that point. The comments by the coaching staff seemed like they were pleased that we were in the game until the end, then took a look at the stat sheet, and were summarily in disbelief that we were as close as we were. I have a feeling their tune will change once they take a look at the film.

At least I expected Whitlock, with his Hater-ade propensity, to lash the good coach Haley, but he seemed dumbfounded that we were actually in it for most of the game. It’s as if he said, “Well, hey…at least we didn’t get our asses kicked.” Um, well…yes, we did. And if you don’t think we did, then I have a shortstop I’d like to trade you for your top-pitching prospect.